Artsy science

I've been working on various kinds of microscopes for about 6 years now, and I've taken a lot of pictures.  A LOT of pictures.  Somewhere in the realm of thousands.  Most of them are of nanowires of varying populations and striping patterns, but a couple were of funny things that were strange anomalies (i.e. nanowire walls and nano-Doritos).  Some of my pictures looked pretty artsy.

All of those pictures have been completely blown out of the water by a picture I took today.  Grad student Justin and I were evaluating the extent to which plasma etching revealed gold electrodes by plating gold and observing it under our optical microscope.  I have no idea what kind of etching happened to give us this shape, but there it is, a millimeter-sized treble and bass clef, both illustrated in fractal gold:

Merry golden melodies!

Nothing about this is, of course, at all publishable, so I don't mind sharing it.  We still have no idea what happened.  It almost looks like strips of support electrode gold came up after plasma etching, but we aren't sure.  In any case, it makes for quite a cool picture.

How my life as changed as a postdoc (a.k.a. why I love my postdoc)

My life has changed as a postdoc.  Not incredibly, but subtly.  In little surreptitious ways that I don't notice when they crop up, but do notice upon reflection.

I was really worried that when I started my postdoc, I wouldn't be able to be on the accelerated track because of my relative dearth of knowledge on the subject at hand.  There are two major detection mechanisms in the world of biosensing: optical and electrochemical (or electrical, though I'm a bit rue to put it under electrochemical).  Graduate work was optical; postdoctoral work is electrochemical.  I planned it that way because of the broadening effect I hoped it would have.  I knew it would be delving into something different, but I had a sneaking suspicion that in the back of my mind, it would be ok, because I had the knowledge base regarding biosensing and biodetection.... I just had to learn a few different techniques.

So far, that's been what it's been, and there's been more.  I've found myself taking on a subtle leadership role, which is surprising since I've only been here for 3 months. I advise the younger students when the PI is not around.  I correct techniques that have gotten lost over the years and with the turnover of new students.  Right now, I am heading up putting together a budget for a major grant for which we are applying.  I would have never dreamed I would do those sorts of things in graduate school, but I am loving the freedom and autonomy.  And to top everything off, of course I have my own labwork to do, but learning what I am about our system is playing second fiddle to what I am learning behind the scenes, though it is still incredibly interesting, and I am devoting a lot of time to it.

Honestly, it's like I'm being groomed to become a tenure-track (TT) professor.  The grant process is teaching me that, ok, it's hard.  There is no doubt it's hard.  But it's not impossible.  I always thought it was like pulling teeth, and perhaps it is.... but perhaps also, the teeth aren't as firmly rooted as I had imagined.  Advising the younger students has also been a real joy.  They are so interdisciplinary, so smart in such different ways.  I love contributing to both their education and the lab's as a whole.  My ideas aren't just wanted, they're needed.  I think I finally am starting to understand what my Ph.D. advisor wanted me to see for so long: that she truly loves what she does.

In short, I'm glad I came here, and I love my job, and if you were worried about me going to a different country, don't.  Things are ok here.

How SHOULD a postdoc act?

Greetings, dear readers.  When we last saw me on this blog, I was excited for my first day of work and still playing Starcraft in a camp chair.  Well, no more (at least, regarding the camp chair)!  My things are finally here, and I am mostly unpacked and set up, minus a few little odds and ends that I still have to take out of boxes.  The American postdoc has officially settled in Canada!

As for the lab, it's been fun to just take in all the differences.  The group dynamic is a lot different here, and this may be due to the differences in gender, age, and personality.  As I've mentioned before, my current group is VERY young and largely bottom-heavy, what with the 6 first-year M.Sc. students and all.  Also, of the entire group academic group of 15 and soon to be 16, there are 2 females.  Our group is split into 2 buildings, so in my subgroup of 10 and soon to be 11, I am the only female.  This isn't bad per se, just different, and I'm trying to find my place.

And while we're on the subject of that, how SHOULD a postdoc act?  My experience with postdocs in my previous labs has been one where they were much older than me, married, and very professional and, in large part, reserved.  I've never run into the hotshot young postdoc for longer than a few weeks at a time, though I know they exist.  I came into this telling myself that I was going to be more professional and reserved.... but there are two problems with trying to be these preconceived notions of a postdoc, and they are very important.  So important that they warrant their own paragraphs:

1) It doesn't fit in with the group.  The group is the group, and I'm a new little piece of it.  Everyone who joins a group of anything, be it a multimillion dollar laboratory or a knitting circle, changes it somehow; however, they largely don't overhaul it single-handedly.  My group is a very relaxed, but ridiculously bright environment where ideas are shared freely, and me being a bit more subdued just wouldn't fit with this open concept.  Additionally, the young age of many of the group members has put me in the position of a kind of adviser, and being proactive about heading them off at the pass when they make a wrong turn is definitely helpful in this line of work.

2) It's not me.  I've started dressing nicer and watching what I say a bit more, but largely, I'm still my light-hearted and good-humored self in lab.  I'm not going to refrain from participating in the joking just because I have a Ph.D.  It doesn't change my personality, and I don't have to shift my paradigm to fit what I've seen before.  Trying to be something you're not throws a wrench into the works.  Being myself helps the group run more smoothly and lets me do my job better.

It's amazing that I can even take this stance of observation so early in my career with this lab.  I think this is because my mind is less occupied with the science.  It's truly a beautiful and welcoming thing.  I'm learning new techniques, but I already understand why I am doing them, whereas as a new graduate student, I did my fair share of floundering with the influx of new information, as everyone does.  This crystallized experience is something that only comes with immersion in a subject for a good period of time (i.e., the length of a Ph.D.)... now I see why postdocs are such valuable researchers.